


El Torito

by charis_chan



Series: Of Addictions and Bad Habits [1]
Category: Amar a Muerte (TV)
Genre: F/F, Gen, Mexican lingo, alcohol drinking, english translation on the second chapter, spanglish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 03:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17973323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charis_chan/pseuds/charis_chan
Summary: “Valentina!” you can’t help but snap as you slam you pad on your knees in frustration. “What do you want?”Your girlfriend flinches a little and something dark, tired and wrong in your brain frizzles in satisfaction.“… I just want to talk...”Or,A Spanglish one-shot that kinda got out of hand but I kinda loved writing. I live in angst street corner with hurts-so-good lane, so y'all are warned.(Edit: I added another chapter, which is the same story but the Spanish dialogues were translated into English)





	1. Spanglish Version

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, guys. This one is Spanglish so you're warned. I think it can be read without really knowing what the dialogue says, as I tried to make it clear what happens within the prose, so please give it a try if you don't know enough Spanish.
> 
> Thanks for the chance!
> 
> (Edit: I added another chapter, which is the same story but the Spanish dialogues were translated into English)

It starts small enough that you don’t notice her at first.

 

In the far back of your mind you are aware that Valentina got home earlier than planned, but deadline is upon you and you need to send those sketches to your teammates if you want to pass the class. You really need to pass that class if you want to keep the scholarship.

 

She comes and sits next to you, close enough to feel her warmth but far enough to let you draw without bumping into her. She sits as she likes to best, her ankles crossed and her knees pulled to her chest, hugging them to her. She still insists on putting her shoes on the white fabric of the couch, but you’re far too done with that fight to scold her again.

 

And well, all of that is registered in your mind without actual thought, so you don’t spare more than a glance to your girlfriend as you focus on the pad on your lap.

 

You have work to do.

 

It starts small. How she inches towards you little by little. How she starts nudging you with her foot. How her hand starts tracing patterns on your thigh. How she squeezes your knee gently.

 

“Juls?” Valentina asks you in a murmur.

 

You ignore her. In fact, you don’t even really hear her. She does this little dance often enough that you’ve taught yourself how to filter her out.

 

“Juls? Amor?”

 

You hum. In a moment or two, if you keep drawing, Valentina will simply sit contently next to you, either playing on her phone or going through Instagram.

 

“¿Podemos hablar?”

 

You keep drawing. Besides the sketches, you need to submit three dresses on Friday and you’re still designing the last one and you haven’t started sewing any.

 

You are so far behind and working with a team has only slowed you down.

 

“I’m busy, Val,” you add in an afterthought.

 

“Neta solo necesito un minuto.”

 

“Val, no.” The last line you just draw looks wonky. You ponder the merits of erasing it or starting over, which one would be less hassle on you and less damage to the paper.

 

Erasing looks easier.

 

Valentina’s hand comes and latches on your hoodie’s sleeve, tugging and making the eraser leave an ugly streak on the paper.

 

You groan. So much for not starting over.

 

“¡Valentina!” you can’t help but snap as you slam you pad on your knees in frustration. “¿Qué quieres?”

 

Your girlfriend flinches a little and something dark, tired and wrong in your brain frizzles in satisfaction.

 

“… Solo quiero hablar...”

 

“Val, ¿no ves que estoy ocupada? Rayos, ahora tengo que empezar de cero.”

 

Valentina fidgets. “Sorry, Juls… no era mi intención.”

 

You pull at your hair. There’s a pounding behind your eyes that has been building these past few days that is threatening to become a migraine and you’re too tired for any of this. Whoever is asshole that invented final session needs to be rotting in the ninth circle of Hell.

 

“Intención o no, Valentina, me echaste a perder el boceto.”

 

Valentina hugs herself, leaning away from you, and that twisted part inside you that is part evil and part El Chino hums again in approval. Her voice is small when she answers you, “Wey… neta lo siento. Solo quería hablar.”

 

You shake your head as you turn to a fresh page in the pad, starting to copy the design as fast and as neat as you can. “Habla, pues.”

 

Valentina’s fidget returns. “Juls… ¿me puedes ver a la cara?”

 

“¡Carajo, Val!” you snap again. You turn to glare at her. “¡Ya, pues!”

 

Valentina’s eyes are glassy and she looks away, biting her lower lip. “Ya… pues…” she hesitates, rubbing her hand along her forearm. “Es que…”

 

“Sometime this century, Valentina.”

 

“Es que… Verás…” Valentina rubs at her eye. In any other moment, in any other state of mind, the way she always rubs at her eye with the heal of her hand when she’s sad or anxious would be telling. It’d be a red, glaring alarm that something is wrong and that this is not Valentina simply wanting attention. That you need to snap out of it before you brake something.

 

In any other moment, Valentina’s phone going off, interrupting her, wouldn’t made you as happy as it does.

 

“Esperame, ¿okay?”

 

Valentina is off the couch and answering her phone quickly and you waste no time before going back to your work.

 

Copying your previous drawing is less trouble than drawing from scratch, so you keep and ear on your girlfriend’s side of the conversation.

 

“¿Bueno?” Valentina greets from somewhere behind you and you know she’s pacing as she speaks. She does that often and its endearing most of the time. Right now, the muffled sound of her footsteps lets you know she won’t be bothering you now.

 

You quickly sketch the primary lines on your new drawing. They look smarter, cleaner. You are satisfied with them.

 

“No, no. Eh, no, todavía no.”

 

Valentina laughs nervously.

 

“Sí… estaba en eso…”

 

She keeps quiet for a few beats and you take a moment to sharpen your pencil.

 

“¡Sí! ¿Dónde?” A moment of hesitation. “¿La que está enfrente del Corona? Va. Sí, sí lo conozco. Juls me lleva cerca de ahí… No, sigue sin tomar, pero igual le gusta. Dice que son los mejores mojitos de la ciudad.”

 

You frown at that last bit. You don’t need to hear what whoever is at the other side of the line saying to know that Valentina is talking about La Chalupa, the only bar you actually enjoy sorely because they serve the very best virgin mixes in the city. Or, rather, some other bar that’s nearby there.

 

You can’t believe it. Valentina is making plans to go get wasted.

 

Before, you were annoyed with Valentina’s suddenly neediness, but now, now that Valentina is talking about bars, you find yourself starting to feel hot under your hoodie. Valentina promised she wasn’t drinking during final’s season. She promised _you_ , that she would take her studies more seriously this semester and that partying after class was to change for homework.

 

And while she had behaved as promised for the last five months, Valentina’s actions right now makes you anger and damn, you still have work to get done.

 

“Sí, va. Déjame le digo a Juls y ahí nos vemos. Bye.” Valentina hangs up and rounds the couch to face you again. “Juls-”

 

“No, Valentina.” You shake your head. “Prometiste que no tomarías esta semana.”

 

Valentina winces. “Sí, ya se. Pero Sergio y yo-”

 

“No.” You glare at her. “No vas a ir con Sergio. No vas a tomar. Tienes cosas que hacer. Tienes examen mañana.”

 

Valentina looks away and bites her lip again. “Sí, pero-”

 

“No, Val. No vas.”

 

Valentina suddenly whirls to face you. Her face is flushed and she’s frowning deeply. “¿Y tú quien eres para decirme qué hacer?”

 

You frown back. You don’t have time for this. “Soy tu novia.”

 

“El hecho de que seas mi novia no te da ningún derecho, Juliana. Vivimos juntas pero no eres mi madre.”

 

You huff. This is stupid and simply wrong. “No, claro que no. ¡Si fueras mi hija no serias una pinche alcohólica!” The moment those words leave your mouth you know you fucked up. Your blood starts running cold and you need to apologize immediately. “Val-”

 

“Wow, Juls. Wow.” The anger is gone from Valentina, suddenly as evaporated as yours. She now looks merely tired and worn. “Te pasaste.”

 

“Val,” you groan. You leave your pad to the side to rub at your face. This is stupid and honestly, you can’t think how it got this out of control. “Perdón, no quise decir eso.”

 

Valentina turns around, marching straight to the door. She picks her keys from their hook and you wince. Valentina behind the wheel is a fairly recent thing. So recent, in fact, that you still hesitate going places with her if she is the one driving. “Pero lo pensaste.”

 

“Val… porfa,” you beg. “No son ni las tres. Es muy temprano para que tomes. Ya, perdón.”

 

She pauses at the door, one hand on the handle. She looks over her shoulder to you and the tears in her eyes stab your heart. “No me esperes despierta.”

 

And then, she’s gone.

 

You press the palms of your hands against your eyes and scream out your frustration.

 

This is not how you wanted your Thursday to go.

 

XxXxX

 

With Valentina gone and your deadline approaching, you took a few minutes for a bathroom and snack break and got back to work.

 

You finish the dress you were working when Valentina came in soon, but the last one, the one that should be formal wear is giving you trouble. It doesn’t help that half your mind is wondering where is Valentina and how she is doing. You worry, but you don’t know what to do other than wait.

 

Valentina learning to drive as soon as you moved in together didn’t really go as she planned. Your mom helped you pay for a beaten up sedan that uses little gas and that was your ride for more than a year, both Valentina’s and yours, and that had been the car with which Valentina learned to drive. You taught her as best as you could, even Alvino chimed in on the weekends to try and teach.

 

Your sedan crashed seven times during those lessons.

 

And even so, Valentina didn’t really learn to drive without getting too distracted.

 

You worry.

 

Alcohol and Valentina’s natural inability to pay attention to the road are not a good mix.

 

You manage to finish the last dress around midnight. It’s over two hours late, but you know your teammates won’t complain with what little work they’ve done for the project. As soon as the sketches are sent, you start on the first dress you’re submitting.

 

Valentina helped you getting the fabrics for your dresses a month ago, and while you measure, cut and iron, you keep thinking on her. It’s late, she has to be at school by seven to sit her exam and you haven’t heard from her. She said not to wait up, but she also implied she was coming home tonight. You’re on your third pot of coffee and you plan on waiting for her.

 

You need to apologize.

 

You sent her a text no long after she left, doing just that, but you need to hug her, beg for forgiveness and kiss her until she is no longer sad and angry.

 

You also need to find out what she wanted to tell you before you two fought.

 

So, you plan to wait.

So, you keep measuring, cutting and ironing.

 

You can, at least, make some headway with those dresses.

 

XxXxX

 

By three in the morning you are not longer worried.

 

You are frantic.

 

You’ve been texting her every five minutes, calling every ten.

 

She’s not answering and you fear the worse.

 

You’ve called Sergio, of course you have.

 

He’s not answering either.

 

You ponder calling some other of Valentina’s friends, but, much to your shame, you don’t actually know any. After the fallout of Valentina’s being shoved out of the closet, most of her friends shied away from her. So far only Sergio and one girl you have heard of but haven’t met are the only ones that Valentina still frequents enough to mention. You don’t know her name and you don’t have her phone. More often than not calling Sergio when you can’t reach Valentina is enough.

 

Apparently not today.

 

You know that Valentina drunk and driving is dangerous and the thought of Sergio being the one driving is nor comforting at all.

 

He drinks too much too.

 

The image of them, one of theirs cars crashed and them both stretched on the pavement with sheets over them is an overpowering one.

 

You can’t shake it off.

 

When the clock ticks four, you no longer care about waking people up.

 

The first person you call is Guillermo.

 

It goes straight to voicemail.

 

You call Renata next.

 

It rings for a minute before disconnecting.

 

Lucia’s phone number is no longer in service.

 

You are pondering who to call, Jacobo or Eva, who would be the less distressed and the more helpful, when your phone rings.

 

You don’t even check who is calling when you answer, “Valentina?”

 

“ _Eh, no. Soy yo_ ,” Renata’s voice answers you. She sounds way too alert to have been woken up by you, still, you apologize.

 

“Perdón si te desperté, Reni… ando buscando a Val. ¿Sabes algo de ella?” You breathe heavily, fearing her answer. She could say yes and give you bad news, or she could say no and make you worry more.

 

“ _¿Qué? ¿No te marcó?_ ”

 

You shake your head. Now you are confused. “¿De qué hablas?”

 

You heard her sigh on the other side of the phone. “ _Los muy tontos están en el Torito, Jul. Sergio le habló a Guille hace una hora para avisarle. Creímos que Val te había hablado a ti._ ”

 

You don’t know what to say. On one hand, Valentina is safe and sound. On the other, the dumb girl got detained for driving drunk.

 

All the worry melts from you, leaving you to collapse in a boneless mass on the couch. You still need to finish sewing those dresses and the fabrics and materials are all over it but you don’t care. Valentina is fine. Detained, but fine.

 

“¿A-A qué hora los detuvieron?” you ask in a shocked, tired mumble. “¿A qué hora sale?”

 

Valentina spending the night in a holding cell doesn’t sound okay, but it is better than having her dead. You need to know when you can pick her up.

 

What you do with her once you are certain she’s not injured is a question you still don’t know how to answer.

 

“ _Guille está allá. Con suerte los dejan salir en cuanto abran en la mañana.”_

 

You nod to yourself. You can totally work with that. “Gracias, Reni. Ahorita lo alcanzo.”

 

You can practically feel Renata hesitating before she speaks up. “ _¿Estás bien? Vale no sabía como ibas a reaccionar y bueno… si se puso peda creo que sería mejor que se lo dejes a Guille. Así te tranquilizas y a ella se le baja.”_

 

You don’t understand. What is she talking about? “¿Qué dices? Estoy tranquila. Estaba preocupadísima, pero estoy tranquila. Voy a ir por Val. Fin de la historia.”

 

“ _Sí, pero de seguro te enojaste, ¿no?_ _Dale_ _chance que se les pase a las dos.”_

 

You frown. What the hell she is about? All the worry that you managed to escape is suddenly back tenth-fold. What has Valentina gotten herself into? Ever since El Alacrán was dealt with, your lives have been calm, easy. You fear what you’ll learn. “Renata, ¿de qué hablas?”

 

Renata hesitates again. “¿ _Neta no te dijo?”_

 

“Por el amor de Dios, Renata, ¡ya dime!”

 

“ _Juls… corrieron a Vale de la uni._ ”

 

Fuck.

 

Fuck.

 

 _Fuck_.

 

Is this what Valentina wanted to tell you? Was this what she was so nervous about? Was this why she needed to talk to you so desperately?

 

You fucked up big time. Worse than you first imagined.

 

You ignored Valentina when she most needed you.

 

What kind of fucked up girlfriend are you?

 

“Renata… no tenía idea.”

 

“ _Estaba super asustada, Juls. Sabía que te ibas a enojar.”_

 

“Wey… no me dijo nada.” You cradle your head in your free hand. You massage your scalp as you groan. “Me enojé antes de que me dijera.”

 

“ _¿Qué?”_

 

“Me enojé antes de que me dijera. Me enojé por una pendejada y se fue. Wey, soy una idiota.”

 

“ _Juliana_ … _”_

 

You groan louder. “Ya sé, ya sé.” You take a deep breathe. “Gracias por avisarme, Reni. Tengo que ir a verla.”

 

“¿ _Tienes la dirección?”_

 

“Ahorita la googleo, no te preocupes. Gracias.”

 

“ _Okay, Juls. Suerte.”_

 

“Gracias.”

 

You hang up and let the phone fall away.

 

You have much to do and so much to ask forgiveness for.

 

There’s no time to be wasting.

 

XxXxX

 

You arrive in time to share a coffee with Guillermo and some doughnuts. You chat iddily for a couple of hours before he smarts up and asks you the one question you don’t want to answer.

 

“¿Todavía estás enojada? ¿De la uni?” He asks you as the first rays of sun start filtering inside his car.

 

You drove to the holding center but, as much as you love your car, you won’t deny Guillermo’s is more comfortable to sit and wait.

 

“No lo sabía. Renata me dijo,” you admit. “Fui una idiota y me enojé por otra cosa.”

 

Guillermo has the decency not to ask why you got angry. Maybe he sees the remorse in your face, or maybe he’d learned that he doesn’t want to know much about his baby sister’s love life.

 

Scarring him once when he walked into you two having sex was more than enough for him to shy away from anything that spoke ‘couple’ when it comes to Valentina.

 

Even so, you feel the need to defend yourself a little. To explain what happened.

 

“Estaba muy metida en un trabajo y no le hice caso cuando me quería decir lo de la uni. Me enojé porque se echó a perder un dibujo y le grité. En eso habló Sergio y me enojé más cuando Val le dijo que saldría con él.” You round to him, your eye imploring. “Me prometió que no iba a tomar esta semana, que se iba a esforzar más en la escuela. Y ahora está detenida porque se emborrachó y la cacharon manejando.”

 

He looks away, thinking. Form the corner of your eye you see how the facility’s doors are being opened. It won’t be long before you can go and pick up Valentina. “¿Te hubieses enojado, si te lo hubiese dicho? Esta aterrada de decirte.”

 

You haven’t really pondered that question. Sure, school is really important for you. Now that you’re able to focus on your studies without worrying what you’ll eat and where you’ll sleep you want to seize the opportunities that you have. When everything with your dad and Valentina’s family settled down, you were shocked to discover that one of the few things you hated about Valentina was her easygoing attitude when it came to her studies.

 

Sure, she attends – attended – one of the most expensive schools in the country and that gave her some benefits and leeway, but even so, the way Valentina treats her obligations sits ill with you. You talked to her about it lengthily, and Valentina heard you and you believe she understood where you were coming from with little prompting. It was then when the promise to cut back the drinking and focus more in school came from.

 

So, yes. You’re angry about it. She made a promise that she broke and that hurts.

 

But, worse than that, you’re sad that apparently everyone thought your reaction was going to be that same anger you’re feeling.

 

Apparently everyone thought that you’ve been angry enough to drive Valentina into drinking hard.

 

And that’s another thing you’re angry and worried about.

 

Valentina’s habit of drinking when she’s feeling too much.

 

But that’s something that you need to work with her, not Guillermo.

 

“Un poco,” you answer him. “Pero no sé porque la corrieron. No me ha dicho que pasó, así que en realidad no sé si me enoja.”

 

Guillermo hums at that. “No, pues tienes razón. Tienes que hablar con ella.” He nods to the door, where people is already starting to trickle out. “¿Quieres ir tú? ¿O voy yo?”

 

You look at the building with some trepidation. You wanted to pick Valentina up and take her home. Have her shower, sleep, eat and then talk.

 

You need to stick to that plan, at least for now, if you want to apologize as you need to.

 

“Tu ve por Sergio,” you order him. “Yo me encargo de Val.”

 

XxXxX

 

The paperwork takes longer than you cared for but that is soon forgotten when Valentina is lead out the holding cells into the main room.

 

The world stops when you see her. Her hair and clothes are rumpled. There are dark circles under her eyes and her makeup is a mess. You can smell the alcohol in her all the way from where you are waiting and somehow she’s missing her right shoe.

 

But damn if she’s not the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. You chest fills with joy at the sight and you breathe easier.

 

Her eyes widen when she sees you. They water and her lips purse and they start trembling in under a second.

 

You smile tiredly at her and open your arms.

 

She comes barreling into you, hugging you fiercely. She muffles her cries on your shoulder and you press her as hard as you can against you.

 

“¡Lo s-siento!” she cries brokenly. “P-Por favor, perdóna-name. ¡Lo siento m-mucho!”

 

Feeling her, hearing her, knowing she’s here with you, loosens your chest further and you exhale wetly. You cradle her head against your shoulder. “Ya, amor, ya. Está bien. Todo está bien.”

 

It is far from okay, but it will be.

 

XxXxX

 

It’s past noon when you slid into bed and spoon Valentina. It’s usually her that holds you when you sleep, but you’re still feeling tender about this whole mess and you need to feel her.

 

Getting home took a long while with all the traffic and Valentina dozed off on the car, making her alert enough to eat and shower before climbing into bed. She wanted to talk as soon as you got home, but you insisted on her resting first and she complied without hassle.

 

Part of you wanted her to be sober to talk and the other part was still trying to figure out your feelings.

 

Yes, you’re still a tad angry, but you’re more worried and concerned over Valentina’s actions and behavior. You still need to find out what happened at school and you really need to look into yourself to see why would Valentina be afraid of telling you about her expulsion.

 

Were you such a lousy girlfriend that Valentina felt the need to hide stuff from you?

 

You hope to God that’s not the case, at all.

 

“Juls?” Valentina’s sleepy mumble makes you smile tiredly. While she showered and slept, you couldn’t seem to be able to turn your brain off.

 

With all the energy in you, you at least managed to get your dresses done. They are still missing the smallest details and some of the finer work, but the bulk of it is complete and they no longer will be an excuse for you to ignore Valentina.

 

They should never be an excuse, you scold yourself, but you guess you can’t hide behind them anymore and prolong this chat with your girlfriend.

 

“Amor,” you answer her softly. “How’re you feeling?”

She whines in the back of her throat and she turns in your arms, hiding under your chin. “Shitty.”

 

You kiss the top of her head. “Ya. ¿Quieres dormir un poco más?”

 

She shakes her head. “Me siento mal contigo.” She presses closer to you, hugging your waist. “Lo siento mucho.”

 

You nuzzle her temple. “Princesa, yo también lo siento mucho. He sido un asco de novia. No debí enojarme, no debí gritarte. ¿Me perdonas?”

 

“¿Qué? No, Juls.” She untangles herself from you, looking up into your eyes. “Juliana, no hay nada que perdonar. Yo la cagué, no tú.”

 

You smile sadly. “Bebé, te grité. Te insulté. Te ignoré. La que estuvo mal fui yo.”

 

She shakes her head again, tuning her face to the side. Her cheeks flush with shame. “Juls, no. Yo soy la idiota que manejó tomada. Yo fui la que te interrumpió. Yo la cagué. Obvio te enojaste.”

 

You sigh and cup her jaw, forcing her cheek to look at you again. “Valentina,” you tell her seriously. “No hay nada más importanteque tú y tu bienestar. Estaba de pendeja metidísima en el proyecto y te ignoré. Yo la cagué. Después de eso me enojé por una idiotez. Val, un boceto nunca puede ser más importante que tú, fui una idiota.”

 

Valentina’s eyes start to water. “Pero la escuela es importante… estás en finales y necesitas concentrarte y… y… y te prometí que no iba a tomar y tomé.” She sniffs. “Lo siento mucho. Perdón. Perdóname.”

 

Tears start trickling down her cheeks and you kiss the corner of her mouth. “Valentina, la escuela nunca debe de ser más importante que tú. Perdóname por hacerte creer eso. Tú eres mi prioridad y no te lo he demostrado.” You kiss below each of her eyes. Her tears paint your lips with salt and you finish with a kiss to the tip of her nose. “That’s on me, love. Renata me dijo de tu uni, Val. No te escuché. Bebé, perdóname. He sido la peor.”

 

Valentina rubs at her eyes. “¿Estás enojada? ¿De la uni?” she asks and it pains you to see the slight fear in her eyes. She’s more scared of you than you thought and merely asking for forgiveness won’t be enough to fix this up.

 

“No, Val,” you tell her honestly. Maybe if she had told you then, you’d be really upset, but with everything that’s happened, you’re scared. Really scared.

 

There’s not space or care in you left to be angry.

 

You just want to fix this.

 

You need to fix this.

 

“Pero, la escuela es importante.”

 

“Sí, pero tú eres más importante. Primero eres tú, Val. Lo demás son puras idioteces.”

 

Valentina crumbles against you, shaking.

 

“Perdóname por hacerte creer que una tonta escuela vale más que tú,” you beg her.

 

She nods. “Perdón por romper mis promesas.”

 

You kiss her temple once more. “Perdón por no escucharte.”

 

“Perdón por manejar borracha.”

 

“Perdón por darte miedo. No quiero que nunca me tengas miedo, Val, perdón si te hice creer que te lastimaría. Perdóname. Renata dijo lo asustada que estabas, amor. Nunca deberías de sentir miedo conmigo.”

 

She pushes from you slightly. Her eyes are confused. “Juls… no te tengo miedo. Tenía miedo que te enojaras conmigo porque rompí mi promesa. Falté tanto a la escuela que me echaron. Ni siquiera reprobé los exámenes… no fui y me echaron.”

 

You frown lightly at that. Both your schools are close enough to be able to carpool most days. You are fairly certain that you’ve dropped off Valentina at the door mostly everyday this last semester. How could she skip class? “¿Val? No entiendo.”

 

The fear is back in her eyes. “No te enojes, por favor,” she pleads with you in that high whiny voice that always concerns you.

 

“Te lo prometo.”

 

Val looks away again, and this time you allow it. “No he ido a mis clases porque… porque me he estado metiendo a otras clases. Perdí la cuenta de mis faltas y me echaron.” She looks back at you. “Perdón por no decírtelo antes.”

 

Your frown deepens at that. “No entiendo Val.”

 

She licks her lips. “Me dí cuenta que periodismo no es lo que pensaba. Ana está estudiando psicología y me invitó a varias de sus clases. Me gustaron mucho y pues, me colé a las de primero y una cosa llevó a la otra y antes de darme cuenta me dieron de baja.”

 

“¿Te echaron por qué te diste cuenta periodismo no es lo tuyo?” you ask her. “¿Por qué no me dijiste? Podrías haber dejado periodismo y empezado psicología.”

 

She fidgets. “Es que te prometí que iba a echarle ganas a periodismo y dos semanas en el semestre lo dejé. De verdad pensé que podía terminar el semestre, pero las clases estaban super interesantes y no me dí cuenta de lo que hacía. Los maestros incluso me dejaron tarea con los demás, aún cuando sabían que no era parte de la clase.”

 

At least that solves the mystery of why Valentina actually applied herself over the semester. But…

 

“¿Dos semanas? Val, eres muy inteligente para pensar que faltar la mayor parte del semestre no te iba a afectar.” You feel another pang of remorse and regret stabbing your chest. “¿No me dijiste por qué te daba miedo?”

 

Valentina hesitates a second before nodding. “Tu no me dabas miedo,” she says quickly as you feel you own eyes fill with tears. “Me daba miedo que pensaras que no te quiero lo suficiente para cumplir mis promesas. Pensé que te ibas a dar cuenta el fraude que soy y me ibas a dejar… y para acabarla de amolar, tomé cuando te dije que no lo iba a hacer y hasta a la cárcel fui a dar.”

 

You kiss her softly. “Bebé, no tienes que tener miedo de eso. Yo te quiero, te quiero mucho. Te amo, Valentina, y no te pienso dejar hasta que tú me obligues a hacerlo.”

 

The conviction in her voice rattles your bones. “Nunca. Nunca te voy a pedir que te vayas.”

 

“Entonces nunca me voy a ir. Te amo.”

There’s still some hesitation behind her glaze when she nods. “Okay. Yo también te amo.” She is looking tired again and honestly, you too are finally starting to feel the strain of the last day.

 

You smile a strained smile and kiss her forehead. “Duerme, princesa. Seguiremos hablando mas tarde.”

 

She fists your shirt. “Stay?” Her voice is so small you want to cry again. She shouldn’t be so insecure about this all.

 

You need to fix this, even if you have to spend the rest of your life working on it.

 

Now, though, you need to sleep and cuddle the love of your life.

 

“Siempre.”

 

 


	2. English Version

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> English version

It starts small enough that you don’t notice her at first.

 

In the far back of your mind you are aware that Valentina got home earlier than planned, but deadline is upon you and you need to send those sketches to your teammates if you want to pass the class. You really need to pass that class if you want to keep the scholarship.

 

She comes and sits next to you, close enough to feel her warmth but far enough to let you draw without bumping into her. She sits as she likes to best, her ankles crossed and her knees pulled to her chest, hugging them to her. She still insists on putting her shoes on the white fabric of the couch, but you’re far too done with that fight to scold her again.

 

And well, all of that is registered in your mind without actual thought, so you don’t spare more than a glance to your girlfriend as you focus on the pad on your lap.

 

You have work to do.

 

It starts small. How she inches towards you little by little. How she starts nudging you with her foot. How her hand starts tracing patterns on your thigh. How she squeezes your knee gently.

 

“Juls?” Valentina asks you in a murmur.

 

You ignore her. In fact, you don’t even really hear her. She does this little dance often enough that you’ve taught yourself how to filter her out.

 

“Juls? Love?”

 

You hum. In a moment or two, if you keep drawing, Valentina will simply sit contently next to you, either playing on her phone or going through Instagram.

 

“Can we talk?”

 

You keep drawing. Besides the sketches, you need to submit three dresses on Friday and you’re still designing the last one and you haven’t started sewing any.

 

You are so far behind and working with a team has only slowed you down.

 

“I’m busy, Val,” you add in an afterthought.

 

“I just need a minute.”

 

“Val, no.” The last line you just draw looks wonky. You ponder the merits of erasing it or starting over, which one would be less hassle on you and less damage to the paper.

 

Erasing looks easier.

 

Valentina’s hand comes and latches on your hoodie’s sleeve, tugging and making the eraser leave an ugly streak on the paper.

 

You groan. So much for not starting over.

 

“¡Valentina!” you can’t help but snap as you slam you pad on your knees in frustration. “What do you want?”

 

Your girlfriend flinches a little and something dark, tired and wrong in your brain frizzles in satisfaction.

 

“… I just want to talk...”

 

“Val, Ca’nt you see I’m busy? Damn, I need to start over.”

 

Valentina fidgets. “Sorry, Juls…  I didn’t mean to mess it up .”

 

You pull at your hair. There’s a pounding behind your eyes that has been building these past few days that is threatening to become a migraine and you’re too tired for any of this. Whoever is asshole that invented final session needs to be rotting in the ninth circle of Hell.

 

“Whenever you meant it or not, Valentina, you messed it up.”

 

Valentina hugs herself, leaning away from you, and that twisted part inside you that is part evil and part El Chino hums again in approval. Her voice is small when she answers you, “Wey…  I’m really sorry .  I just wanted to talk .”

 

You shake your head as you turn to a fresh page in the pad, starting to copy the design as fast and as neat as you can. “ Talk .”

 

Valentina’s fidget returns. “Juls…  Can you look at me ?”

 

“Damn it, Val!” you snap again. You turn to glare at her. “Talk!”

 

Valentina’s eyes are glassy and she looks away, biting her lower lip. “ You see... ” she hesitates, rubbing her hand along her forearm. “ It’s just …”

 

“Sometime this century, Valentina.”

 

“I… You see…” Valentina rubs at her eye. In any other moment, in any other state of mind, the way she always rubs at her eye with the heal of her hand when she’s sad or anxious would be telling. It’d be a red, glaring alarm that something is wrong and that this is not Valentina simply wanting attention. That you need to snap out of it before you brake something.

 

In any other moment, Valentina’s phone going off, interrupting her, wouldn’t made you as happy as it does.

 

“Give me a minute, okay?” 

 

Valentina is off the couch and answering her phone quickly and you waste no time before going back to your work.

 

Copying your previous drawing is less trouble than drawing from scratch, so you keep and ear on your girlfriend’s side of the conversation.

 

“Yes?” Valentina greets from somewhere behind you and you know she’s pacing as she speaks. She does that often and its endearing most of the time. Right now, the muffled sound of her footsteps lets you know she won’t be bothering you now.

 

You quickly sketch the primary lines on your new drawing. They look smarter, cleaner. You are satisfied with them.

 

“No, no. Eh, no, not yet.” 

 

Valentina laughs nervously.

 

“Yeah… I was about to…”

 

She keeps quiet for a few beats and you take a moment to sharpen your pencil.

 

“Yes! Where?” A moment of hesitation. “The one across the Corona? Yeah. Yes, yes, I know it. Juls takes me near there… No, she doesn’t drink, but she likes it either way. She says they have the best mojitos in the city.”

 

You frown at that last bit. You don’t need to hear what whoever is at the other side of the line saying to know that Valentina is talking about La Chalupa, the only bar you actually enjoy sorely because they serve the very best virgin mixes in the city. Or, rather, some other bar that’s nearby there.

 

You can’t believe it. Valentina is making plans to go get wasted.

 

Before, you were annoyed with Valentina’s suddenly neediness, but now, now that Valentina is talking about bars, you find yourself starting to feel hot under your hoodie. Valentina promised she wasn’t drinking during final’s season. She promised  _you_ , that she would take her studies more seriously this semester and that partying after class was to change for homework.

 

And while she had behaved as promised for the last five months, Valentina’s actions right now makes you anger and damn, you still have work to get done.

 

“yes, great. Lemme tell Juls and I’ll see you there. Bye.” Valentina hangs up and rounds the couch to face you again. “Juls-”

 

“No, Valentina.” You shake your head. “You promised not to drink this week.”

 

Valentina winces. “ Yes, I know .  But Sergio and I -”

 

“No.” You glare at her. “You are not going with Sergio. You are not drinking. You have stuff to do. You have an exam tomorrow.”

 

Valentina looks away and bites her lip again. “ Yes, but -”

 

“No, Val. You are not going.”

 

Valentina suddenly whirls to face you. Her face is flushed and she’s frowning deeply. “ And who are you to tell me what to do? ”

 

You frown back. You don’t have time for this. “ Your girlfriend .”

 

“The fact you’re my girlfriend gives you no rights. We live together, but you’re not my mom.”

 

You huff. This is stupid and simply wrong. “ No, of course not .  If you were my daughter, you wouldn’t be a stupid alcoholic !” The moment those words leave your mouth you know you fucked up. Your blood starts running cold and you need to apologize immediately. “Val-”

 

“Wow, Juls. Wow.” The anger is gone from Valentina, suddenly as evaporated as yours. She now looks merely tired and worn. “That was mean.”

 

“Val,” you groan. You leave your pad to the side to rub at your face. This is stupid and honestly, you can’t think how it got this out of control. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”

 

Valentina turns around, marching straight to the door. She picks her keys from their hook and you wince. Valentina behind the wheel is a fairly recent thing. So recent, in fact, that you still hesitate going places with her if she is the one driving. “ But you really think that .”

 

“Val… please,” you beg. “It’s not even three. It’s too early to be drinking. I’m sorry.”

 

She pauses at the door, one hand on the handle. She looks over her shoulder to you and the tears in her eyes stab your heart. “ Don’t wait up .”

 

And then, she’s gone.

 

You press the palms of your hands against your eyes and scream out your frustration.

 

This is not how you wanted your Thursday to go.

 

XxXxX

 

With Valentina gone and your deadline approaching, you took a few minutes for a bathroom and snack break and got back to work.

 

You finish the dress you were working when Valentina came in soon, but the last one, the one that should be formal wear is giving you trouble. It doesn’t help that half your mind is wondering where is Valentina and how she is doing. You worry, but you don’t know what to do other than wait.

 

Valentina learning to drive as soon as you moved in together didn’t really go as she planned. Your mom helped you pay for a beaten up sedan that uses little gas and that was your ride for more than a year, both Valentina’s and yours, and that had been the car with which Valentina learned to drive. You taught her as best as you could, even Alvino chimed in on the weekends to try and teach.

 

Your sedan crashed seven times during those lessons.

 

And even so, Valentina didn’t really learn to drive without getting too distracted.

 

You worry.

 

Alcohol and Valentina’s natural inability to pay attention to the road are not a good mix.

 

You manage to finish the last dress around midnight. It’s over two hours late, but you know your teammates won’t complain with what little work they’ve done for the project. As soon as the sketches are sent, you start on the first dress you’re submitting.

 

Valentina helped you getting the fabrics for your dresses a month ago, and while you measure, cut and iron, you keep thinking on her. It’s late, she has to be at school by seven to sit her exam and you haven’t heard from her. She said not to wait up, but she also implied she was coming home tonight. You’re on your third pot of coffee and you plan on waiting for her.

 

You need to apologize.

 

You sent her a text no long after she left, doing just that, but you need to hug her, beg for forgiveness and kiss her until she is no longer sad and angry.

 

You also need to find out what she wanted to tell you before you two fought.

 

So, you plan to wait.

 

So, you keep measuring, cutting and ironing.

 

You can, at least, make some headway with those dresses.

 

XxXxX

 

By three in the morning you are not longer worried.

 

You are frantic.

 

You’ve been texting her every five minutes, calling every ten.

 

She’s not answering and you fear the worse.

 

You’ve called Sergio, of course you have.

 

He’s not answering either.

 

You ponder calling some other of Valentina’s friends, but, much to your shame, you don’t actually know any. After the fallout of Valentina’s being shoved out of the closet, most of her friends shied away from her. So far only Sergio and one girl you have heard of but haven’t met are the only ones that Valentina still frequents enough to mention. You don’t know her name and you don’t have her phone. More often than not calling Sergio when you can’t reach Valentina is enough.

 

Apparently not today.

 

You know that Valentina drunk and driving is dangerous and the thought of Sergio being the one driving is nor comforting at all.

 

He drinks too much too.

 

The image of them, one of theirs cars crashed and them both stretched on the pavement with sheets over them is an overpowering one.

 

You can’t shake it off.

 

When the clock ticks four, you no longer care about waking people up.

 

The first person you call is Guillermo.

 

It goes straight to voicemail.

 

You call Renata next.

 

It rings for a minute before disconnecting.

 

Lucia’s phone number is no longer in service.

 

You are pondering who to call, Jacobo or Eva, who would be the less distressed and the more helpful, when your phone rings.

 

You don’t even check who is calling when you answer, “Valentina?”

 

“ _Eh, no._ _It’s me_ ,” Renata’s voice answers you. She sounds way too alert to have been woken up by you, still, you apologize.

 

“Sorry I woke you up, Reni… I’m looking for Val. Have you heard from her?” You breathe heavily, fearing her answer. She could say yes and give you bad news, or she could say no and make you worry more.

 

“ _What? She didn’t call you_ _?_ ”

 

You shake your head. Now you are confused. “ What are you talking about ?”

 

You heard her sigh on the other side of the phone. “ _Those dumb kids are at El_ _Torito, Jul. Sergio_ _called_ _Guille_ _about an hour ago to let him know_ _._ _We thought Vale called you_ _._ ”

 

You don’t know what to say. On one hand, Valentina is safe and sound. On the other, the dumb girl got detained for driving drunk.

 

All the worry melts from you, leaving you to collapse in a boneless mass on the couch. You still need to finish sewing those dresses and the fabrics and materials are all over it but you don’t care. Valentina is fine. Detained, but fine.

 

“At what time were they detained?” you ask in a shocked, tired mumble. “What time she’s coming out?”

 

Valentina spending the night in a holding cell doesn’t sound okay, but it is better than having her dead. You need to know when you can pick her up.

 

What you do with her once you are certain she’s not injured is a question you still don’t know how to answer.

 

“ _Guille is waiting there. With any luck, they’ll be off when they open for business._ _”_

 

You nod to yourself. You can totally work with that. “ Thanks , Reni.  I’ll go catch up with him .”

 

You can practically feel Renata hesitating before she speaks up. “Are you okay? _Vale_ _didn’t know how you were gonna take it and, well_ _…_ _if she got drunk is best to leave it to Guille._ _That way you cool off and she sobers up_ _.”_

 

You don’t understand. What is she talking about? “ What do you mean ?  I’m alright .  I was beyond worried, but I’m totally fine .  I’m gonna get Val .  That’s all there’s to it .”

 

“ _Yes, but surely you got mad_ _,_ _n_ _o?_ _Give you both a chance to calm down_ _.”_

 

You frown. What the hell she is about? All the worry that you managed to escape is suddenly back tenth-fold. What has Valentina gotten herself into? Ever since El Alacrán was dealt with, your lives have been calm, easy. You fear what you’ll learn. “Renata,  what are you talking about ?”

 

Renata hesitates again. “ _She didn’t tell you_ _?”_

 

“For God’s sake, Renata! Out with it!”

 

“ _Juls…_ _Vale was kicked out from school_ _._ ”

 

Fuck.

 

Fuck.

 

_Fuck_ .

 

Is this what Valentina wanted to tell you? Was this what she was so nervous about? Was this why she needed to talk to you so desperately?

 

You fucked up big time. Worse than you first imagined.

 

You ignored Valentina when she most needed you.

 

What kind of fucked up girlfriend are you?

 

“Renata… I had no idea.”

 

“ _She was really scared_ _, Juls._ _She knew you were going to get mad_ _.”_

 

“Wey… she didn’t tell me.” You cradle your head in your free hand. You massage your scalp as you groan. “I got mad before she could.”

 

“ _What_ _?”_

 

“I got mad before she could tell me. I got mad over some stupid stuff and she left. Wey, I’m an asshole.”

 

“ _Juliana_ … _”_

 

You groan louder. “ I know, I know .” You take a deep breathe. “ Thanks for letting me know , Reni.  I need to see her .”

 

“ _You got the address_ _?”_

 

“I’ll Google it, don’t worry. Thank you.”

 

“ _Okay, Juls._ _Good luck_ _.”_

 

“Thanks.”

 

You hang up and let the phone fall away.

 

You have much to do and so much to ask forgiveness for.

 

There’s no time to be wasting.

 

XxXxX

 

You arrive in time to share a coffee with Guillermo and some doughnuts. You chat iddily for a couple of hours before he smarts up and asks you the one question you don’t want to answer.

 

“Are you still mad? Over her school?” He asks you as the first rays of sun start filtering inside his car.

 

You drove to the holding center but, as much as you love your car, you won’t deny Guillermo’s is more comfortable to sit and wait.

 

“I didn’t know. Renata told me,” you admit. “I was stupid and got mad over other thing.”

 

Guillermo has the decency not to ask why you got angry. Maybe he sees the remorse in your face, or maybe he’d learned that he doesn’t want to know much about his baby sister’s love life.

 

Scarring him once when he walked into you two having sex was more than enough for him to shy away from anything that spoke ‘couple’ when it comes to Valentina.

 

Even so, you feel the need to defend yourself a little. To explain what happened.

 

“I was really into a project and I ignored her when she wanted to tell me. I got mad because she messed up ne of my sketches and I yelled at her. Sergio called then and I got more upset when she told him she would go out with him.” You round to him, your eyes imploring. “She promised me she wouldn’t drink this week, that she was going to put more effort into school. And now she’s detained because she got caught drunk driving.”

 

He looks away, thinking. Form the corner of your eye you see how the facility’s doors are being opened. It won’t be long before you can go and pick up Valentina. “  Would you have gottne mad, if she had told you? She was terrified of telling you. ”

 

You haven’t really pondered that question. Sure, school is really important for you. Now that you’re able to focus on your studies without worrying what you’ll eat and where you’ll sleep you want to seize the opportunities that you have. When everything with your dad and Valentina’s family settled down, you were shocked to discover that one of the few things you hated about Valentina was her easygoing attitude when it came to her studies.

 

Sure, she attends – attended – one of the most expensive schools in the country and that gave her some benefits and leeway, but even so, the way Valentina treats her obligations sits ill with you. You talked to her about it lengthily, and Valentina heard you and you believe she understood where you were coming from with little prompting. It was then when the promise to cut back the drinking and focus more in school came from.

 

So, yes. You’re angry about it. She made a promise that she broke and that hurts. 

 

But, worse than that, you’re sad that apparently everyone thought your reaction was going to be that same anger you’re feeling.

 

Apparently everyone thought that you’ve been angry enough to drive Valentina into drinking hard.

 

And that’s another thing you’re angry and worried about.

 

Valentina’s habit of drinking when she’s feeling too much.

 

But that’s something that you need to work with her, not Guillermo.

 

“A little,” you answer him. “ But I still don’t know why she was kicked out. She haven’t told me what happened, so I don’t know if I’m upset or not.”

 

Guillermo hums at that. “ Yeah, you’re right. You have to talk to her. ” He nods to the door, where people is already starting to trickle out. “ Want to go first? Or should I pick her up? ”

 

You look at the building with some trepidation. You wanted to pick Valentina up and take her home. Have her shower, sleep, eat and then talk. 

 

You need to stick to that plan, at least for now, if you want to apologize as you need to.

 

“Go get Sergio,” you order him. “I’ll deal with Val.”

 

XxXxX

 

The paperwork takes longer than you cared for but that is soon forgotten when Valentina is lead out the holding cells into the main room.

 

The world stops when you see her. Her hair and clothes are rumpled. There are dark circles under her eyes and her makeup is a mess. You can smell the alcohol in her all the way from where you are waiting and somehow she’s missing her right shoe.

 

But damn if she’s not the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. You chest fills with joy at the sight and you breathe easier.

 

Her eyes widen when she sees you. They water and her lips purse and they start trembling in under a second.

 

You smile tiredly at her and open your arms.

 

She comes barreling into you, hugging you fiercely. She muffles her cries on your shoulder and you press her as hard as you can against you.

 

“I’m s-sorry!” she cries brokenly. “P-Please, forgi-give me. I’m so so-sorry!”

 

Feeling her, hearing her, knowing she’s here with you, loosens your chest further and you exhale wetly. You cradle her head against your shoulder. “ Sh, love, sh. It’s okay. Everything is okay.”

 

It is far from okay, but it will be.

 

XxXxX

 

It’s past noon when you slid into bed and spoon Valentina. It’s usually her that holds you when you sleep, but you’re still feeling tender about this whole mess and you need to feel her.

 

Getting home took a long while with all the traffic and Valentina dozed off on the car, making her alert enough to eat and shower before climbing into bed. She wanted to talk as soon as you got home, but you insisted on her resting first and she complied without hassle.

 

Part of you wanted her to be sober to talk and the other part was still trying to figure out your feelings.

 

Yes, you’re still a tad angry, but you’re more worried and concerned over Valentina’s actions and behavior. You still need to find out what happened at school and you really need to look into yourself to see why would Valentina be afraid of telling you about her expulsion.

 

Were you such a lousy girlfriend that Valentina felt the need to hide stuff from you?

 

You hope to God that’s not the case, at all.

 

“Juls?” Valentina’s sleepy mumble makes you smile tiredly. While she showered and slept, you couldn’t seem to be able to turn your brain off.

 

With all the energy in you, you at least managed to get your dresses done. They are still missing the smallest details and some of the finer work, but the bulk of it is complete and they no longer will be an excuse for you to ignore Valentina.

 

They should never be an excuse, you scold yourself, but you guess you can’t hide behind them anymore and prolong this chat with your girlfriend.

 

“Love” you answer her softly. “How’re you feeling?”

 

She whines in the back of her throat and she turns in your arms, hiding under your chin. “Shitty.”

 

You kiss the top of her head. “ Want to sleep a little bit longer ?”

 

She shakes her head. “ I feel shitty towards you. ” She presses closer to you, hugging your waist. “ I’m really sorry. ”

 

You nuzzle her temple. “ Princess, I’m really sorry too. I’ve been a shitty girlfriend. I shouldn’t have gotten mad, I shouldn’t have yelled. Would you forgive me ?”

 

“What? No, Juls.” She untangles herself from you, looking up into your eyes. “Juliana, there’s nothing to forgive. I messed up, not you.”

 

You smile sadly. “ Baby, I yelled at you. I insulted you. I ignored you. I was in the wrong. ”

 

She shakes her head again, tuning her face to the side. Her cheeks flush with shame. “Juls, no.  I was the idiot that drove drunk. I was the one getting in the way. I messed up. Of course you got mad. ”

 

You sigh and cup her jaw, forcing her cheek to look at you again. “Valentina,” you tell her seriously. “ There is nothing more important than you and your well being. I was stupidly so into that project and I ignored you. I messed up. After that I got upset over some really dumb stuff. Val, a sketch should never be more important that you, I was an asshole. ”

 

Valentina’s eyes start to water. “ But school is important… it’s final week and you need to focus… and… and… I promised you I wasn’t drinking and I did. ” She sniffs. “ I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. Forgive me. ”

 

Tears start trickling down her cheeks and you kiss the corner of her mouth. “Valentina,  school can never be more important than you. For g i v e me for making you think that way. You are my top priority and I haven’t acted that way. ” You kiss below each of her eyes. Her tears paint your lips with salt and you finish with a kiss to the tip of her nose. “That’s on me, love. Renata  told me about your school, Val.  I didn’t listen to you. Baby, forgive me. I’ve been the worst .”

 

Valentina rubs at her eyes. “ Are you angry? About the school? ” she asks and it pains you to see the slight fear in her eyes. She’s more scared of you than you thought and merely asking for forgiveness won’t be enough to fix this up.

 

“No, Val,” you tell her honestly. Maybe if she had told you then, you’d be really upset, but with everything that’s happened, you’re scared. Really scared.

 

There’s not space or care in you left to be angry.

 

You just want to fix this.

 

You need to fix this.

 

“But, school is important.”

 

“Yes, but you are more important. You come first, Val. Everything is doesn’t matter.”

 

Valentina crumbles against you, shaking.

 

“Forgive me for making you think a dumb school is worth more than you,” you beg her.

 

She nods. “ I’m sorry I broke my promises .”

 

You kiss her temple once more. “ I’m sorry I didn’t listen .”

 

“I’m sorry for drunk driving.”

 

“Forgive me for scaring you. I don’t want you to ever feel scared of me, Val, forgive me if I made you think I could hurt you. Forgive me. Renata told me how scared you were of coming clean, love. You should never feel scared with me.”

 

She pushes from you slightly. Her eyes are confused. “Juls…  I’m not scared of you. I was scared of you getting mad because I broke my promise. I skipped classes so much I was kicked out. I didn’t fail… I simply didn’t show up and got kicked out. ”

 

You frown lightly at that. Both your schools are close enough to be able to carpool most days. You are fairly certain that you’ve dropped off Valentina at the door mostly everyday this last semester. How could she skip class? “Val?  I don’t get it .”

 

The fear is back in her eyes. “ Please don’t be mad ,” she pleads with you in that high whiny voice that always concerns you.

 

“I promise.”

 

Val looks away again, and this time you allow it. “ I skipped my classes because… because I’ve been attending other curses. I lost track of how much I skipped and was kicked out. ” She looks back at you. “ Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner .”

 

Your frown deepens at that. “ I’m lost, Val.”

 

She licks her lips. “ I realized journalism wasn’t what I wanted.  Ana is studying psychology and she invited me to attend some of her classes. I really liked them and, well, I started slipping into more basic classes and one thing led to another and before I realized it I was in too deep. ”

 

“You were kicked out because you realized journalism isn’t for you?” you ask her. “Why didn’t you tell me? You could’ve dropped out and started psychology instead.”

 

She fidgets. “ I promised you I was going to apply myself into journalism and not even twoo weeks in, I dropped it. I really thought that I was going to finish the term alright, but the classes I took were really interesting and I didn’t realize I was messing up. The teachers even assigned me homework with the rest of the class, even when they knew I wasn’t enrolled. ”

 

At least that solves the mystery of why Valentina actually applied herself over the semester. But…

 

“Two week? Val, you are smart enough to know that skipping most of the term would come back and bite you in the butt.” You feel another pang of remorse and regret stabbing your chest. “ You didn’t tell me because I scared you?”

 

Valentina hesitates a second before nodding. “ _You_ didn’t scare me ,” she says quickly as you feel you own eyes fill with tears. “ I was scared of you thinking that I don’t love you enough to keep my promises. I thought you were going to realize that I’m a fraud and that you were going to leave… and to top it all, I drank when I told you I wasn’t going to and I ended up in jail. ”

 

You kiss her softly. “ Baby, you don’t have to be afraid of that. I love you, I love you so much. I’m in love with you, Valentina, and I don’t plan on leaving until you force me to. ”

 

The conviction in her voice rattles your bones. “ Never. I’m never asking you to leave. ”

 

“Then, I’ll never leave. I love you.”

 

There’s still some hesitation behind her glaze when she nods. “Okay.  I love you too .” She is looking tired again and honestly, you too are finally starting to feel the strain of the last day.

 

You smile a strained smile and kiss her forehead. “ Sleep. Princess. We’ll talk more later. ”

 

She fists your shirt. “Stay?” Her voice is so small you want to cry again. She shouldn’t be so insecure about this all.

 

You need to fix this, even if you have to spend the rest of your life working on it.

 

Now, though, you need to sleep and cuddle the love of your life.

 

“Always.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Quick Mexican info:
> 
> El Torito is a holding center infamous all through Mexico City. It's the place where drunk drivers are sent when they are caught DUI. It's a place so well known that the phrase 'being sent to El Torito' means you were drunk and driving and got caught.
> 
> I've never been there, but my stepsister spent the night and she says it's awful. Maybe it is, maybe it's not, but I guess Valentina didn't have the bests of nights.
> 
> This one got out of hand and I couldn't address what I really wanted to address in the first place: Valentina's alcoholism. I'll have to come back and add to this story to address that at a different time, so be in the lookout for more Juliantina angst.
> 
> Thanks for reading, y'all!


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